I don't care what he says, he chooses his game over me every time. Every single time. Every time I'm with him, Every time I am just talking to him. He is always playing or probably thinking about his stupid game! I HATE MAPLE STORY! Ever since he got addicted he has been paying less attention on me. And yeah. If he can't provide the attention I need then, who will? I don't want anyone else though. I want him. He can be so gay though! I just hate him. I hate him. I hate him!
Sometimes I doubt if I really do love him. Maybe he and I rushed everything. I don't think we shoulda went out. We shouldn't of. He got me hooked on him and he hooked on his stupid game. Its like that quote: Don't make someone your everything because if you lose them you will have nothing.
It really is quite depressing but, I learn to manage. I'm just waiting for me not being able to take it. Sometimes I just want to quit and just leave. I lasted 1 year and 2 months with it. I don't know what I want. I hate him but I want to be with him forever. I love him just the times he actually is with me and pays attention.
Every time I talk to him on the phone , he just blocks me out. He ignores me or something! Something always happens. It makes me so sad that he doesn't even notice it. Or when I tell him he just seems like he doesn't care. Like sometimes he forgets to call me. Maybe even forgets I exist. Best boyfriend ever?
I don't think he even cares about me. He stopped. It's so sad. I hate crying. It's so early in the morning to cry but, every time I think about this. I always have the need to cry. I guess I'm not as strong as everyone expects me to be. I wish I didn't choose him over everything. I guess these are one of the things you can't take back.
I just want him to love me. I want to know that he is worth what I have been waiting for. I just want him to surprise me and do something. I want to know that I am his everything as much as he is mine. I just want his full attention on me. I like his attention. It's nice knowing someone likes you. I like that feeling.
Well guys, I think I might be breaking out cause of this stupid situation. It has been going on for a while and nothing has been done. I give him the second chance all the time. I can never get mad at him that long. There's no sorry either. I just do. I forgive. I know that he is worth forgiving. Worth everything. It's just maybe sometimes I should rethink that.
I like him a lot. Maybe not love. I ,myself, do not know what love is. Maybe I just like him a lot that it feels like it would be love. Maybe he and I were both in this feeling and he just fell out of it. Sometimes he makes me feel loved. Not a lot like I want but, its better than nothing. I guess he tries.... Sometimes. I didn't even get a proper Christmas gift from him. He gave me chocolate, but I hate chocolate. He gave me a bracelet that him mom just like threw at him. What next? I sometimes feel like I spoil him. I gave him a zune, sneakers, TWO dogtags. And I get nasty nasty chocolate. I'm not complaining about it though. But it's not even the excuse the thought that counts since he knows I hate chocolate. I liked that he bought it that same morning when I was going to see him. Wrapped it then, played his game...... I bet he doesn't even know tomorrow we're one year and two months. Watch. I'm not going to remind him and he wont even realize it until the Jan. 3. When I tell him. Watch......
Guys are gay. My new outlook on life.
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