Oh mannn. Right now I should be tutoring my cousin or doing homework that I have online but I decided to blog. lol. I'm pretty much addicted plus this is just incase I like don't blog at home. For all who doesn't know I was in quite a dilema yesterday! : O I am stuck to see if I should stay on the relationship rocky road or go the smooth single road with a few bumps. Like last night Winston and I got in to a fight AGAIN! I bet you guys are tired of hearing that right? Perfect couple.... I know. Well anways. We got into a fight and he didn't want to hear what I said. He like aimed this to me. on AIM . just in case you guys don't understand. Well Like yeah. I'm thinking I might just end it with him. Like seriusly I'm done crying for this nigga. I hate knowing I get sooo weak when it comes to him. He can walk all over me and I'll be dusting his shoes. UGHH! I hate that. I hate hate hate that. Like last night he didn't call at all. When walking home we just walked two different ways. I don't even know why we were fighting. Just all these fights are causing some serious stress and the stress builds up into acne. I can see him face is clearing up tho. : ( Well good for him and bad for me. Well Right now he is probably just getting out of SASH. Student After School Hours. Yeah had to stay in school for 2 more hours cause he didn't comply with the uniform policy. GAAAY ASSS SCHOOOOOL! Anyways before getting into other details and complaints and advices about winston I 'll tell you about my day!
Industrial tech! I finished my name! about an hour or more. And technically it was two days! 20 minutes in cafe another 20 in cafe and 20 minutes during regular class! : ))) ALSO! Helicopter's finished! WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO. Lol. I got to show it off. I'm going to take it home tomorrow to show you guys! ALSO! I need to get my camera back from Winston! ;p Volleyball was fun. Kara didn't play tho : ( Well it was me and Jeric against Chelly and Sheriff. lol. So yeah....... laksjdlaksjda. & yeah. I tried to hit today and I'm ish getting there. Spiking .. I lost it : (((( GAYY! ugh I'm so mad. No lie I had really nice spikes now it's incognito. : (
Anyways. I am planning to maybe break up with Winston?! Not necessary planning just I know it's going to happen. It's hard to act the same with him. When he says I love you it kind of hurts. It feels like he's lying. HE ALWAYS LIES TO ME. I can never believe him and the gay part is the relationship is supposed to be on trust and love. It's like we have nothing now. Maybe it's just me being toooo clingy again? Like he doesn't call . Feels like he never thinks of me. The only time I feel he like really wants me is when we're kissing. Like no intimate one just like a peck or on the cheek. It just makes me feel special. When he doesn't kiss me it just makes me sad : ( Like I love when he kissesme. Sometimes he gives me these butterflies that I just want to stay in my stomach forever. I Get these really good feelings about him when were alone or when he's being sweet. But Recently he hasn't been acting his sweet self. He's happier being and talking to other people than with me. He smiles more with friends. He laughs more. Jsut more enjoyed when with friends. Its like if you love me. Shouldn't I be the one who's making you happy?
Last night I put all the things he gave me in a BIG BOX! stuffed animals, birthday presents, cards, poems and this rose he gave me last Valentines day. Sometimes I feel like he forgets me. He says oh i need to get you a Valentines day gift or Christmas Gift. And I'm trying to be all modest and say NOO DON'T but UGH! I donn't want a gift. I want something that means something. Like a poem he wrote about me or a flower that reminded him of me.! SOMETHING THOUGHTFUL! I hate other couples. THey make me so jealous that we have like the same thing it's just they have it better. Why can't I have that: ( Sometimes I do and sometimes i dont. It like turns on and off.
Well Grandmother's calling me to help cousin.
K pe@ce
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